u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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