i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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