Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
what day is it and did you see me today?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
