i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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