this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
