You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
