its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
