mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
3pm strippers are depressing
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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