I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Randomize
