He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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