i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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