So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
