You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
