she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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