Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Randomize
