marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
