Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
