Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
