hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
