get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Randomize
