Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
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