She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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