I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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