i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Randomize
