I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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