And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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