There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
operation have a gay friend backfired
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
