bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I checked into jail on foursquare
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
