we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
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