I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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