Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Randomize
