shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
We are two peas in an std pod
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
