Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
