Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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