That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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