I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
