i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
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