"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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