She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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