So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Randomize