Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
how drunk are you?
Several
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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