I accidentally burped into my bong.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
