Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize