Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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