Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
