Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
