I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
