all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
