I'm really into asian looking animals
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
