you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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