I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
