well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
