I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
