i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Randomize
