my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
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