I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
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That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
you win again, gameday.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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