Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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