my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
