hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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