I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
