have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize