belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I see more hoeing in ur future
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