So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
It was a blind-side dick pic.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
