Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
