chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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