You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Randomize
