No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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