oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
