I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
