found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
