We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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