i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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