Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
