i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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