And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
