i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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