fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
