I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
