yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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