So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
