Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
