real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
