So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
