Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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