bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I love you. Go after that dick
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
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